Post Your Best One Liner!

[B8A_Illya]

I want to read some jokes, so I thought I would ask you guys for your favorite one liners

Mine for this thread: My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician. xD

 

[EZWoodWorker]

He is so narrow minded he can look through a key hole with both eyes.

Anybody come to mind?

 

[Captain_Marko]

Groucho Marx, " Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in a institution?"

 

[B01E]

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

 

[Macflea]

"Baldrick, if a hungry cannibal cracked open your brain there wouldn't be enough inside to cover a small water biscuit!"

 

[Poppy_poopy]

A baby was recently born in Indianapolis and it took 3 days to determine the sex because it was born with a brain and a penis.

 

[Poppy_poopy]

Outside of a dog a good book is man's best friend, inside of a dog it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

 

[Captain_Marko]

Ha! i was just about to post that one Dan! Groucho was the master of one-liners 8)

 

[Poppy_poopy]

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised" - Dorothy Parker

 

[Macflea]

The geologists were frustrated because they were being taken for granite.

 

[fishbrine]

"If I wanted any shit out of you, I'd squeeze your head."

Sorry, are we doing one-line insulting comebacks?

 

[Poppy_poopy]

That woman was so ugly, that if you entered her face and my ass in a beauty contest, everyone would say , "Hooray for the one eyed man."

 

[InfectedRPG]

I once dated a girl with a twin. People asked me how I could tell them apart. It was simple, Amanda painted her nails blue and Bob had a c*ck.

 

[Gwydz]

How much deeper would the oceans be without sponges?